The vast majority of society seeks approval or validation from others. We learn at a young age to occassionally look up at mom and dad, waiting for that nod or smile to show that what we are doing is ok. As we grow we look to teachers for praise. Once we are adults we need to be told we are doing well at work and we even look to social media for likes and comments. All of these are forms of validation and approval.
Read MoreIt is all too easy to stick within our comfort zones, but watch out because they are a trap. Comfort zones keep us from realizing our greater potential. Challenges intimidate our ego and sometimes make us feel small when we fail to rise to the occasion. We must not fear failure. By coming to value the lessons that we learn from our mistakes, we will advance as we journey through life. In addition, by learning to accept what intimidates and makes us feel uncomfortable, we develop a new level of confidence when we push ourselves to new levels of growth.
Hiking the Zion Narrows can be intimidating, but ultimately rewarding when you rise to the challenge of hiking up this river. Photography by Paul Garrett
Anytime I accept an invitation for a new group or try a new yoga studio for the first time, I feel anxious, nervous and intimidated. But, when I push through that discomfort it is almost always a great experience. When we enter the unknown we become vulnerable. Vulnerability is difficult, but is so necessary as it is the gateway of all emotions. Some people are more likely to take risks. People who have suffered trauma, particularly in early childhood, are less likely to explore and take risks. Vulnerability requires great courage because it reveals our authenticity and requires us to show our true selves by taking off the mask we so often wear to try to please others.
Sometimes my closest friends, you know the two or three who know me intimately, will ask why I do not heed my own advice. The truth is that we are all on this journey together. I do not believe that anyone is perfect. I am learning and growing everyday. Sometimes I write or post on social media the content I most need to hear. Yes, that’s right you heard it straight from the horse’s mouth! I admit wholeheartedly that there are things I need to work on and improve, but I feel fortunate to have that awareness. Once we awaken we are able to improve. So please step out of your comfort zone. YOU are worthy of accomplishing all of your dreams. Although each of our journeys are a little different, ultimately our purpose is to become the best possible version of ourselves. We must learn how to take risks and learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable.
My Blogging Partner, Paul Garrett, loves to hike and explore, but standing on the edge of a cliff is totally outside of his comfort Zone.
Just as children have physical growing pains, adults too have growing pains, but usually our pains are in the form of mental and emotional anguish, frustration, and sadness. Learn to commit more to your dreams than to your comfort zone and you will soar! No one is alone. My own door is personally open all the time if anyone wants to bounce ideas off me or simply needs a listening ear. The minute we isolate ourselves we start a downward spiral. My greatest desire is for each of us to reach abundance in all areas of our lives. When we join together and help one another, we become stronger. Please feel free to message me on Instagram or comment below, and on days when you feel strong or have a little extra love please consider reaching out to someone around you to offer them support and kindness.
With Love & Courage,
Libby
New Posts Every Tuesday and Saturday
There are a growing number of mental health concerns plaguing our country as well as places around the world including, but not limited to; addiction, anxiety, and violent aggression. Addictions include alcohol & drugs, sex, food, social media, and the biggest most common addiction that I see daily is to the phone. My biggest concern is two fold. One; people are not practicing self love and acceptance AND they are not reaching out for help when needed. Two; doctors are prescribing medications rather than exploring the root cause of the emotional triggers and reactions.
Yoga connects the body and mind through breath. Awareness begins with the physical practice on the mat and then carries into daily life. Once we are plugged into ourselves we are better able to cope with stress, anxiety, depression and other emotions rather than try to put a Bandaid over it to cover it up. Yoga centers us and raises our confidence and self esteem. When we are not centered we become extreme. When we are centered we can cope.
Photography by Paul Garrett
There is no easy fix that will work in the long run. We must stay comitted to our mental well being and revisit and reevaluate ourselves daily. We have to want to stand firm against our inner demons and to grow into the best version of ourselves. Love and truth set us free. We must face problems head on in peaceful productive ways and set firm boundries.
Support groups such as AA, Al-Anon, and Co-Dependency all suggest following the 12 steps. I have had clients ask if I had been through one of these programs because they said what I spoke of and taught in class was so similar. I was curious for a long time so I finally attended both AA and Al-Anon groups to understand both perspectives. I was thrilled to learn that many long term treatment centers for addiction use Yoga as therapy. I then ordered The Big Book and Al-Anon Works to deepen my understanding of the twelve steps. Although the twelve steps are similar to the 8 Limbs of Yoga, there are some differences. After much reflection I combined what I found most helpful from both and created my own steps for the Foundations for Living the Best Life. I am starting a Meetup group here in Cincinnati, and I hope that it spreads to create a community of people who want to better themselves through discussions, volunteer work, and outdoor activities, including yoga. My study will continue in December when I take a weekend course for Yoga and addiction and trauma therapy. I look forward to continuing to learn, grow and help others.
The truth is that we all face obstacles in life and at any given moment we cannot know what others are truly facing. Many times we keep our biggest struggles to ourselves. No matter how happy or confident someone may appear we all have days when we feel we are falling apart. Sometimes we are cracked open to allow our light to shine and to keep pushing forward. We are never alone, but sometimes we need to take responsibility, reach out, ask for help, and tell someone we are not Ok in that moment. You are not a mess and life does not end when we fall down. We need to have the courage and strength to stand up, shake it off and face our insecurities. It is important to pause, breathe, and respond with respect to both yourself and others. Yoga teaches us awareness, acceptance and forgiveness. For me personally I have become more patient, confident, and focused. This does not mean I never have bad days, but rather that I am more equipped to handle those days with grace and love. When I feel down or unsure, the first thing I do is get on my mat. If I have low energy I may only move a little, but it always brings me back home, grounds me, and brings great clarity.
I hope that when you face the next obstacle in your life that you will reach out. Ask a friend to try yoga with you, visit a support group, or read and try my Foundations for Living the Best Life. We all deserve to be happy and to have abundance in our lives. We all have a divine spark within. So be your authentic self and shine bright. You never know who you may help by sharing your story or even asking someone how they are doing. When we accept our differences and learn from each other, we grow stronger as a community.
Mindfully Yours,
Libby
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We are all a part of a great tapestry and when you weave us together we become one, which is the key to Samadhi, or ultimate enlightenment. When we think of tantra we typically associate it with tantric sex. Our society, as a whole, would like us to believe that sex outside of the intent to recreate is dirty or taboo. But sex is truly a beautiful act between two people in love and during which they literally reach the highest state of becoming one with each other.
Photography by Libby McAvoy
So what prompted this blog? Well, I am currently reading, “The Book of Secrets” by Osho. It is a very long, information packed, deep book. But I am learning a lot about tantra and why it is often related to love and sex. In a society where sadly we are flooded with mental health issues, depair, and violence we need to rejoice in respectful SEX and in LOVE because the world needs more peace. Ok, so according to The Book of Secrets, “the word tantra means technique, the method, the path.” This is different from philosophy that has us asking “why” in that tantra is a science that looks at and shows us “how” so we can answer our own questions through life experiences. We cannot seek answers outside of us and we all tend to lend advice where we ourselves do not heed that same advice. According to Osho, “Tantra will give us a technique to attain answers.”
I have spoken many times about the importance of breath, but Osho explains it as each exhale being a moment of death and each inhale being a moment of rebirth. So, when we understand this we can find strength in knowing that with each breath we take is a chance to start anew. At the center of our being lies our heart. Love is ultimately the link between us and the divine. There is no separation. When two people are deeply in love there is also no separation. When those two people share the act of intercourse, and during intercourse, they remain still without words and momentarity they become sex, they become love, and it is no longer an action but a transcendence which is why tantra is often seen through tantraic sex. But it is more than sex. It is a divine union that takes us to a place of utimate bliss.
We have to allow every situation to be. Tantra explains the importance of acceptance. We need to surrender rather than suppress our emotions and undertsanding. Sometimes, especially during times of unrest, we cannot possibly undertsand the “whys” and we have to simply surrender and sit with it. In my own city of Cincinnati, we just experienced a tragedy as a gunman opened fire in our Fountain Square and Fifth Third Banking Headquarter building. Unfortunately three innocent people lost their lives and two others remain hospitalized. It is in these tragic and difficult times that we all search for answers and understanding. But we have to simply accept what is. There are metally ill people, people who make grave mistakes, and terrorists, but Tantra explains that there is no division between good and bad. No one is a bad person, but some people do bad things. It is in these times that we are challenged the most. We must forgive, which is incredibly difficult, but holding grudges only hurts us more in the long run. This goes for all challenges that we face. Religion is fear based where spiritality is love based. Love conquers all. So be love, give love, and most importantly practice self love.
So love more, enjoy tantric or long unspoken intimate sex with your life partner, and practice awareness, acceptance, and forgiveness each and every day. We are never promised tomorrows so we need to make the most of each day. Rise up to your greatest potential. Great things are coming. Accept what is and have faith in what will be.
Lovingly,
Libby
P.S. - Please stay tuned for our blog Tuesday by Paul Garret, which will honor and pay tribute to all who lost loved ones on 911 and in any tragic event.
New Posts Every Tuesday and Saturday
Congratulations to those who know your purpose and path in life, you are the minority. My suggestion for the rest of us is to first declare what and where we ultimately want to go in life. Now, visualize a map with your starting point in the bottom left corner and your dream destination for life in the top right corner. We must know where we want to go in order to start traveling toward our ultimate goal. Hard work, practice, and perseverance are our “gas cards” so to speak. Knowing that we must spiral upward to achieve our greatest dreams. There will be some obstacles, maybe even road blocks along the way, but at least we are headed toward our destination now rather than feeling lost.
Elli Yokochi - Photography by Paul Garrett
For those few people who have already started your Total Soulful Journey, it can still a slippery slope. There are speed traps and cliffs along the way. We must be careful not to fall too deeply into life’s potholes by repeating mistakes or feeling stuck, but instead continuing forward momentum. We must all try to visualize the shortest path to get to where we want to go, and be careful not to walk in circles.
Be mindful of time. Be mindful of actions. Each choice we make can pull us back or launch us forward. We all need to re-evaluate our mission from time to time. It is ok to change directions or take side trips, it is even ok to turn the “car” around and go back.
Elli Yokochi - Photography by Paul Garrett
My daughter, Morgan, just started undergraduate school at The University of Kentucky this fall. Morgan has wanted to be a Veterinarian since she was three years old. Choosing which school to attend was a big decision, the first in starting on the map toward success. But she has pulled her arrow and begun the process with positive momentum. As her parent, I accept that she too may need to re-evaluate and make adjustments along the way. I feel my role as a parent, this is all brand new to me, is to be aware of her direction, allow her to make her own decisions and comfort and encourage her. It is never easy all the time for any of us. But, I recognize my path as well as hers and ultimately I know our side trips together will always remain precious. We each have to learn to “do me” and let others “do them”.
Life is a beautiful journey. Sometimes we laugh and sometimes we cry. Sometimes we are pulled back and then move forward. It is all ok. Just know everything happens exactly the way it is meant. Accept each moment as it is and have faith in what will be as you "follow your arrow wherever you go."
Happy Journeys,
Libby
New Posts Every Tuesday and Saturday
It's that time of year again for my fellow mom and dads, school teachers and coaches and students of all ages. Summer seems to fly by ever so quickly these days. Now it's back to school shopping and preparations while still trying to soak up the last of summer time fun. This year is different for me though. I would like to share with you some intimate details about what is happening in my life in hopes that you can either share advice or similar experiences with me. Well, I feel like I blinked and she went from diapers to preparing for college. My daughter has been a true gem her entire life and I have enjoyed every minute of the journey, but now is the time that I have to trust that her father and I have prepared her for being a responsible adult in this world. I will be driving her down to move into her dorm at University of Kentucky (UK) this Friday.
Go Wildcats! Photography by Libby McAvoy
Oh boy does saying that bring a rush of emotions to my head and to my heart. I sit here typing with tears welling up in my eyes. I am beyond happy and excited for her next leg of this journey. I believe deeply that Morgan will accomplish her greatest dreams and be a successful student. She will be in the College of Agriculture with an undergraduate in animal sciences hoping to go on to Vet School. Needless to say this life transition brings with it uncertainty. Morgan is nervous as well as excited, but will miss her family, friends and pets. I am sad to “lose” my daughter and quite frankly best friend. I am scared for the experiences that will bring her challenges and heartaches, dissapointments and fears, but that all comes with growing up. I know that she will learn by leaps and bounds and excel. And I, of course, am looking forward to her visit home for Thanksgiving, the phone calls and the many text between us.
So many proud achievements over the past four years.
For those of us who are sending a child away for the first time this year, UK did a phenominal job in their parent orientation sharing ideas that help students excel. They explained to us parents that sending a text before big exams or papers are due and calling after to see how it went really helps students (our children) feel that we are there with them in spirit. He also said that small care packages from home are well always received. I have taken notes and plan to stay close to her even from a distance.
Bonding time hiking with my son at Red River Gorge.
This transition also brings change for my son. Corwin is entering 8th grade this year. Having his sister away from home brings great changes to him in multiple ways. He is used to her driving him places and they are very close. It is a great way to teach him that our love for people does not change because of the distance between us. He is looking forward to having special visits with his sister without his parents around too, especially for a basketball game. But as he too goes back to school I am also excited that I will now have more time with him. This is a very important year for Corwin as he prepares for high school next year. Being the second child sometimes means taking a back seat or not having things be new and as special for him. But, at least he knows I will do drivers ed a little better when it's his turn and his sister definitely paved a good path for him. I also look forward to making special memories with Corwin while Morgan is away.
Some parents cannot wait for school to resume. I have never felt this way. I love time spent with my kids and the relaxed schedule of summer. However, I am excited to finish projects of my own including my upcoming book about stress. I believe that although we are parents, it is also important to remember our own unique identity and purpose. Using my positive thinking I am excited to dedicate more time to organizing, updating a couple rooms at home, and getting back to a more disciplined routine of working out.
Celebrating Graduation with Family and friends.
Although transitions do bring uncertainties, it is important to embrace them as we have discussed in our latest blog series. Uncertainties, such as the transitions back to school, also bring new opportunities, positive changes, unlimited possibilities and growth. Now is the time. Get excited if you to are in this season of change with me. It is time to give our children wings and launch them lovingly into a new level in their lives. Of course, being the energetic beings that we are, as they launch into new begininings we too follow. Life is exciting. Let’s see what this amazing school year brings to us all.
Peace and encouragement,
Libby
P.S. - For those parents who have been through college transitions or have moved children away from home, I would love to invite you to share ways to communicate anything that helped your child or yourself. You can comment in the box below or on our latest post on Instagram.
New Posts Every Tuesday and Saturday
What holds us back from accomplishing all of our dreams? In most cases it is simply the confines of our own minds, which are too often ruled by fear. There is the fear of failure and the fear of getting hurt, but the biggest innate one for us subconciously is the fear of death. Let's face it, fear of the unknown comes with the thought of death. Where will our spirit go? Will we go to heaven or hell? What is heaven really like anyway? Have you ever found yourself asking these or similar questions? Death is truly a part of life. After all the only thing that we know for certain is that someday we will die.
Photography By Libby McAvoy
As I sit on my airplane looking out the window at the fluffy beautiful clouds I am reminded of wondering as a child what it would be like to hop playfully from one cloud to the next. I clearly remember pondering how much I would sink in or if I would fall through the bottom of the clouds. These inquisitive thoughts are symbollic because I pictured myself going to heaven after death on earth. I thought that is what it would be like; I woud just live “up there.” As an adult I realize that clouds are impervious or unaffected by us. I have even driven right through them in the mountains of Tennessee. So, what does that mean? I guess I will never get to bounce on them, they have no soft fluffy texture that I once thought.
The mind is powerful. Things are not always as they seem. The most important thing we can do is to think positively and attract positive outcomes. When we live in fear we are not making the most of this beautiful life we have been given. Yes, we will die someday, but many of us are never fully living to begin with because of fears that hold us back. Go after your dreams, believe that you deserve happiness because you do. Make the most of everyday and ask yourself the folloing questions:
Photography by Libby McAvoy
I am currently reading "The Daily Stoic Journal", which encourages daily journaling. Each day the book poses a new question and I am guided to focus my awareness on that particular thought and then write about it. It is amazing how much clarity this process is bringing me. It is helping me understand myself better. We are each unique beings, but at our core we are all the same meaning we are divine beings, yes all of us. No one is bad we just make poor decisions sometimes, some more than others. So I no longer believe in heaven or hell. I do not know where our souls go when our bodies perish, but I am letting go of fear. I am changing the direction of my thoughts to start living each day. I am letting go.
Feeling like a road warrior (warrior two pose) in Kentucky.
Let go and simply live, love and laugh. Yes, we might get hurt, but we might not. We never know unless we try. So, have faith and stick with positive thoughts! As Paul so eloquently wrote about dealing with uncertainties in life in his last blog, embrace those uncertainties and allow life to bring you beautiful surprises.
Peace and Light,
Libby
P.S. - If you enjoyed this blog, please click on the "Likes" button or leave a comment below. We love hearing from you! You can also connect with us on Instagram; @libbymcavoy @thepaulgarrett @totalsoulfuljourney
New Posts Every Tuesday and Saturday
Numbers are never ending. If you put a dollar amount or weight goal in terms of numbers you will forever chase your goals. Let's talk weight. Are you happy with your current weight? Often I hear friends say that they want to lose 5 pounds. But why a number? I believe it is far more important to feel good than to judge yourself by a number. To me, I know I am at a healthy weight when I can move with ease and lightness, feel energetic and confidant and when my clothes fit comfortably.
Read MoreMindfulness is a big buzz word right now. I have learned mindfulness through my yoga practice and studies. Mindful speaking, mindful meditations and basically growing awareness to cultivate a higher consciousness is what I think of when I hear the word mindfulness. However, this week when I completed parent orientation at the University of Kentucky for my daughter’s freshman year I heard the word and a detailed explanation in an entirely new way. We heard from many authorities and leaders from the school and it was very impressive how many resources are available to the students at UK, but the head of student services talked at great length about the transitions and stress our children undergo throughout college, but especially the freshman transition. He talked about what it means to drink responsibly. Think about this and jot down how you would explain that phrase to your child. First, be of legal age.
Read MoreJuicing is one of my new favorite things and I am about to explain why! I am not talking about a juice fast or cleanse, but simply adding a juice a day to keep the doctor away. Suddenly more juice places are popping up, my friends are talking about it and a local yoga studio is even thinking of offering juice to its clients. I personally do not own a juicer, but my dear friend does and was kind enough to show me how to juice using a combination of fruits and vegetables that pair well. I began to juice almost every day and I noticed my skin becoming clear and bright and I was far more energetic. I occasionally drank the juice as my breakfast, but most of the time I juiced in addition to my meals.
Read MoreOur beliefs not only affect the outcome of our future, they also affect those around us in our intimate relationships, at work, with friends and with family. I grew up in a fanstastic loving home, but being the baby of the family and the caboose, born 10 years after my sister, my parents and siblings did a lot for me including making my decisions. Of course they meant no harm and were simply trying to help me. It was only recently that I realized that those “nurturing” habits and tendencies that they had for me really created a dependency on other people for my well being, a fear of surviving on my own and a delay in finding my purpose. Sometimes life throws us curve balls that are out of our control, but with a strong belief that you deserve to live the life of your dreams and to become the best version of yourself, you realize that all things are possible.
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Total Soulful Journey is a inspiring blog about living your best life through awareness, acceptance and forgiveness with the goal of elevating our minds, our bodies and our spirits to their fullest potential. This blog will help people find their purpose in life and fulfill the calling of their souls through mindfulness. We'll explore the many aspects of love, health, fitness, yoga, nutrition, cooking, careers, entrepreneurship, travel, and manifesting abundance. Awaken with us on a Total Soulful Journey to becoming the best version of you!
Total Soulful Journey is an inspiring blog about living your best life by Paul Garrett. Paul is a writer, an award winning filmmaker, an internationally published photographer and an entrepreneur who lives and thrives in the Pacific Northwest.
