Why Do I Keep Attracting Low Quality Partners?
/Relationships revolve around energy. We attract who we are and not necessarily who we want to attract. That’s right and let me say it again, we attract who we are. So if you are tired of constantly attracting partners who treat you poorly, it is time to raise your awareness of how you treat yourself and elevate your self image and vibration by doing your inner work and healing. After all, If you you don’t change, nothing will change for you.
Our vibration attracts partners of a similar vibration. This is quantum physics and the Law of Attraction. At the simplest level, “like attracts like.” This is why we fall in love with people who feel like us.
“Wounded people attract wounded people… healthy people do not attract unhealthy people.”
When we love ourselves and vibrate at the high frequency of unconditional love, we are more likely to attract a partner who also has done their inner work, has learned to love themselves and is mindful of how their energy attracts or repels other people. More commonly, however, people do not feel that good about themselves and they have not done their soul work. As a result they live with a lack of self awareness and confidence, and they are easily influenced and manipulated by fear. Consequently they attract similar people who are also insecure and fearful. Even worse, they may even attract a narcissist who will prey upon their fears and cause further trauma.
Fear And The Ego
Fear is associated with the ego because it is the ego’s job to keep our us safe. Ego is triggered by low vibrational emotions such as shame, guilt, anger and grief (refer to the chart below). Conversely the soul is associated with the higher vibrations of acceptance, reason, love, joy, peace and enlightenment.
Trauma in Our Lives
We all experience trauma in our lives and have parts of our being that need attention and healing. Traumatic events (many of which happened to us in childhood) disempower and lower our vibration, which leads to suffering.
Having gone through a painful divorce for example, there was a period of time where I did not feel good about myself due to the emotional drain of trying to survive the divorce process. Fortunately I had the awareness at that time to not date for at least a year in order to focus on my healing and also so that I would not attract a low vibrational partner who would no doubt further hamper my recovery. There is a temptation when we are in pain to find a person who will distract us from our grief. There is also the false hope of finding someone who will rescue and heal us.
Alexis Franklin - Photography by Paul Garrett
Healing Ourselves
Healing takes courage. Healing is also an act of self love. No one else is responsible for our healing. They cannot walk through the fire for us. It is so important for us to face our fears and release the trauma that is within us so that we can raise our vibration and live the beautiful lives of love and abundance that we know in our souls is out there waiting for us.
Do you feel this?
Does it resonate with you?
Be Mindful of Who You Want or Do Not Want to Attract
Think about the partners who you have had who were not good to you or for you. Now think of the type of person who you would really like to attract. What are the positive qualities and characteristics that you want them to have? Now think about what you will need to change and improve about yourself in order to attract such a high quality person.
Once we become aware of how our energy impacts ourselves and others, we are better able to recognize our limiting beliefs, the wounds that control us, and why we attract toxic people who suck the life out of us and keep us in low vibration.
9 Ways to Raise Your Vibration
Energy is just the tip of the “relationship iceberg,” but it is a very important one. Here are some other areas of our lives that we can focus on to raise our vibration:
Health - healthy people are radiant,
Physical fitness - raises our energy and our confidence.
Mental fitness - a sharp mind is very attractive.
Emotional fitness - being able to process our emotions keeps us from becoming stuck and overwhelmed.
Spiritual fitness - Being connected to our souls gives us purpose, motivation, energy and resilience.
Sexual fitness - our sexual energy is powerful. When we embrace it we vibrate at a higher frequency, which makes us magnetic.
Diet - eating high vibrational foods like organic fruits and veggies keep us healthy, fit and vibing high.
Eliminating alcohol - Alcohol is a poison and a depressant. Limit or eliminate it to raise your vibration.
Presence - Our ability to be present and aware for another person is a very attractive quality that makes other people feel good in our energy.
Aileen Day - Photography by Paul Garrett
Conclusion
We live in turbulent and confusing times, which makes finding a soulmate or a partner in love more difficult than ever. As our traditional gender roles are being blurred by the powers that be, many of us no longer know how to be in a relationship because we do not know what a healthy relationship looks like anymore. For this reason I am writing a book about how to find and grow a lasting, loving and fulfilling relationship in our modern times.
Many of my friends come to me for relationship advice. This has given me deep insights into the challenges that both men and women are facing in their relationships. I will share more relationship insights with you in the coming months on this blog and offer you tools for improving your relationships. I would love to hear your relationship challenges and answer your questions in the comments below.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog! If you enjoyed this content, please do not hesitate to share it with friends and family members who may also benefit from this information. Also be sure to click on the little heart icon at the bottom of this page to let me know that this topic resonated with you.
All the best,
Paul Garrett
