Do you make New Year’s resolutions? Do you follow through with them? You are not alone if you answered YES to the first question and NO to the second. For example, 90% of people who join gyms to in January no longer go to them by March. And according to Forbes Magazine, just 8% of people achieve their New Year’s Resolutions. Why is that?
Read Moref you are single or in an unhappy relationship you may be asking yourself, “How can I attract the love of my life” and the answer is become the love that you seek! You see we attract what we are and a lot of this has to do with the energy or vibes that we send out into the world. If you want to attract a person of high quality ask yourself, ”What do I need to improve about myself to attract a person of high caliber?” We must be willing to do our inner work, to open our hearts and connect with our souls in order to know ourselves enough to also determine the qualities and the characteristic of the person who we desire to attract into our lives. I’ll go deeper into this with a worksheet near the end of this blog because it is so important.
Read MoreBetrayal cuts such deep wounds in our hearts and tears at the connective fabric of our relationships. How we treat a loved one in a time of conflict says a lot about our inner turmoil, our character and where we are along our spiritual path.
Years ago in the heat of divorce my ex and I had numerous shouting matches. The less that we felt like we were being heard by one another, the louder our voices became. Our daughter, who is a very wise young adult, finally intervened saying, “Stop mom and dad! This is going nowhere!” She was right. I was fighting to save our marriage, but it was already over. There was nothing more that I could say to turn the boat around. The only healing option was to accept this new reality, forgive and move on.
Read MoreWe are not only what we say we are, but more truthfully we are the sum total of our actions. Character matters because it is the foundation on which trust is created between people. This particularly matters in business relations, as well as in intimate relationships where trust is absolutely necessary.
People who say one thing and then do something totally contrary have no credibility. Word is bond. It’s how we learn if we can trust one another, and trust is something that we have to earn. It is not an entitlement. It can take years to earn trust and only a careless moment to lose it all forever. We all know about physical and emotional affairs, but it is also dishonest to lead someone on if you have no intentions of being committed to that person who loves and honors you.
Read MoreWe make plans in life and sometimes they unexpectedly fall apart forcing us to start all over again. This can be a time of fear, anxiety, shame, sadness and intense stress. We may even find ourselves encountering dark thoughts as the future that was once full of hope and direction is suddenly blank and empty. If you find yourself in this position, please know that this is temporary and that you have the power within you to ride out the storm and create a better life for yourself.
Read MoreThis week I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my life regarding healthy boundaries. It was very sad to do, yet completely necessary. Just typing that sentence has made my left hand start to shake. I can intellectualize my choice, but perhaps my body is telling me that there is so much more that I do not even know about this situation. Maybe there is a resistance that doesn’t want me to share such intimacy with you, buried emotions that aren’t ready to be reveal, or an invisible thread that wants to pull me back?
How often do you get angry? Anger is one of the most common human emotions. It’s a very natural reaction when we feel hurt by someone, when our expectations are sadly unmet, when someone offends us, when we don’t get our way, when we are grieving and even when we are embarrassed. Anger is often a mirror of what we see in ourselves, but do not want to face. It can also be a secondary emotion that is a reflection of pain, sadness, fear or shame.
The problem with anger is when it becomes chronic or uncontrollable. You know those angry people who fly off the rails at the slightest offense, or are always looking for a fight. Chronic anger is especially harmful to our health. It puts us under ongoing stress as our bodies are constantly under the influence of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. Over time, chronic anger can lower our immune system’s ability to fight common diseases such as colds, and possibly lead to heart disease, hypertension and even cancer in some cases.
Sometimes you just want to scream! Photography by Paul Garrett
Anger also puts our bodies into a lower vibration. As a result, angry people repel happy people and attract angry folks instead. This lower state of vibration also draws other problems into our lives. Notice how bad things often happen to angry people. Well according to the Law of Attraction, this all makes sense.
Years ago I was much more prone to frustration and anger if things did not go my way. There were times, for example, when my computer was not working properly while editing videos that needed to be completed for clients ASAP and I wanted to throw it out the window. Of course I didn’t do that, lol, but the frustration was there.
Over the past three years, I have learned how to manage anger to the point that it never has much of an influence over me. Through meditation and other mindfulness exercises I can now smile and even laugh in the most frustrating of times. Another helpful technique that I use is Libby’s method of Awareness, Acceptance and Forgiveness. When my car got hit by another driver this summer, I was aware of my emotions and remained calm, I accepted that accidents happen and I was grateful that no one was injured. I was able to immediately forgive the other driver and myself for the accident, and as a result, the other driver was also calm and cooperative. Had either of us resorted to anger, this situation would have been so much worse. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Looking for the lessons and learning from them is a gift that can save us from even worse situations in the future.
Through awareness we can manage anger. Photography by Paul Garrett
Another method that is very helpful under stressful situations is breath work. By becoming aware of our breathing and by taking deep breaths, we can practice “The Pause” and heighten our self awareness. Anger is often the result of old triggers related to past pain, sadness, fear or shame within our subconscious minds. When you are in a situation where you feel like you are going to become angry, stop and take a deep breath. This will slow down the situation and make you aware of your emotions in a manner that you will be able to control. This is the difference between reacting off the cuff with anger or responding in a calm manner. Remember that what we put out into the world comes back to us. If we react in anger, other people are likely to react back with anger. This is especially important to remember when you are dealing with your partner, your spouse or your children. Angry words are often hurtful and they cannot be taken back.
A Total Soulful Journey becomes possible when we practice self mastery over our mind, our body and our spirit. Through self love we become more compassionate toward ourselves and anger fades into the background as our egos hold less influence over our emotions. This doesn’t mean that we will never feel angry again. What it does mean is that we can recognize our anger quickly and process it before it becomes a problem. Once again anger is a natural emotion, however, life is too short to let it control us. Choose peace and happiness for they are foundations for a great life!
Wishing you peace and happiness,
Paul
New Posts Every Tuesday and Saturday
Total Soulful Journey is a inspiring blog about living your best life through awareness, acceptance and forgiveness with the goal of elevating our minds, our bodies and our spirits to their fullest potential. This blog will help people find their purpose in life and fulfill the calling of their souls through mindfulness. We'll explore the many aspects of love, health, fitness, yoga, nutrition, cooking, careers, entrepreneurship, travel, and manifesting abundance. Awaken with us on a Total Soulful Journey to becoming the best version of you!
Total Soulful Journey is an inspiring blog about living your best life by Paul Garrett. Paul is a writer, an award winning filmmaker, an internationally published photographer and an entrepreneur who lives and thrives in the Pacific Northwest.
